Lanyards... again

That's it. I think all lanyards have vanished from the island for good. The remaining ones are not even sturdy enough to hold my Rothmans Blue let alone my mobile phone. So I've opted for a pink fufu (sorry no better word). It's a shocking pink fufu which will at least enable me to see my phone in the darkness of my bag. Bu again, there's the uncomfortable question... where have all the lanyards gone? I have been to so many cell phone shops and have felt as if I were a bull in a china shop, just because I asked for a lanyard. For one, these people do not know what a lanyard is, I had to show them what I was talking about. For seconders, I have been given a mystified look. It really felt as if I were asking for tampons at the butcher's. So strange. I remember they came in an array of colours with cheeky words slapped on them. Now.. they're dead. But they can't be dead, they must be stashed away in someone's house. And I keep thinking, they're doing a job they weren't made for doing. And my wild guess is that they're having a whole lot of fun seeing things they weren't made to see. Take the leather lanyard... just like a leather riding crop. Take three of those, and you're in business. And no, they won't be found in stables. As for the other coloured cheeky lanyard which used to be all over the Monti; they're now being used instead of silk scarves, seeing they;'re too small to be used as blindfolds. And they're not being blindfolded. My other wild guess is that these poor lanyards are in dire need of therapy. Sex therapy. Because they've seen XXX rated shows, all unprotected.