Unwell

Sunday, today, what a waste of a day. And I didn't even sleep; at least if I'd slept it would have passed quicker. And it's now Sunday evening, the worst time out of a week. I just hope Friday comes soon enough. I didn't fall again, but now I am reaping what I sowed, the results of smashing a poor knee against the floor. I never thought parquet could hurt so much. I just had a thought of the what-if kind. What if I had actually smashed the parquet instead of my knee? Would that have been even worse? I'm not too sure. It's happening again, the light-headed feeling, the almost dizzy but not quite dizzy feeling. And I feel hot, not the sexy kind of hot. And I'm scared because it feels exactly as it says in the science text books of the well known and hated change of life. At 35? Is this is? My pulse is racing, my heart is beating too much, does this signify the end of women flows, water retention, PSM and agonising cramps? Is this all possible at 35? And I read that it's highly improbable at 35, but possible. Damn, there's that ugly possible word which ruins my day. Not that I am in love with womenly flows, I am not a masochist in that department. But will PSM give way to HRT now? I feel so ill, what the hell is going on? I just want to crawl in bed with my cats all over me and sleep because I cannot take this ill feeling. And I'm tired, after sleeping more than 10 hours. It's too strange. I think people must be thinking I'm drunk but it cannot be a Diet Coke hangover. Or a sparkling water hangover. Or a coffee hangover. This isn't right. And it's making me sad. And I see my Mister awfully worried and concerned and although he does hold an actual Doctorate, it is not in the medical department. My poor man, I worry him to bits, as I did yesterday when gravity got the better of me. He was the first by my side. And no I'm not pregnant by any means, even thinking it could be possible is only rubbing thick salt into an infected enough wound. Perhaps it's just today and it'll be all right tomorrow. Here's hoping it will.