Black

I really for the the life of me cannot understand what it is that attracts me to black, gloom and doom so much. I love the night, the dark. Perhaps I was a bat in a previous life. But a bat? No, I'll rephrase that, I think I was a vampire in a previous life. That's better, that's more glamorous than hanging upside down all day long. Maybe I was a really sexy vampire out for the kill, and that's just what I would do once I finished with the men, kill them. And as if that weren't bad enough, I'm also known to behave like a Black widow. Not a colourful pink, red or blue widow, but a black one. And I always catch myself thinking about caskets and coffins, sometimes I obsess that I wouldn't find one big enough. I'd much rather sit on someone's wall unit when my time is up, but me without kids, without a nephew or a niece, who the hell is going to make space for me on their wall unit. Probably nobody. Another thing which would corroborate with the vampire story is that I'm scared shit of garlic. Just show one clove to me and you'll have me fainting in shock. It's that bad, it's the reason why I steer clear of vegetable vendors in the streets. Why do they have to sell garlic? Can't they sell dolly shoes instead? And if someone where to open my wardrobe they'd think they'd just opened a grave. It's all black too. And I don't like bright lights either, except when they're put on me during a performance. And the entertainment business helps my quest, black evening dresses are quite appropriate. The only think which I don't go black-mad on are shoes. Shoes are the only things which I buy in all colours. Oh and bags. I will never know where this is all coming from. The only thing which could be responsible is that was conceived during an earth tremor, during a massive power cut in pitch black dark. That's the only thing my dad has let on......