I shall try

I'm here late today, but that's because Nigel's just been and girls know how it is, with your hair stylist, it's never just hair. And when your hair stylist happens to be your brother-in-law, then it's definitely more than just hair. But it's ok, I like him, and he's got the magic which I never have especially at 8 in the morning. You see I did try today. I went to bed with the firm thought of getting up early enough to prettify myself. I did manage to wake up at 7, but I could not for the life of me open my eyes for more than two seconds. I was opening and shutting much faster than the way celebrity chefs chop an onion. And they're fast. But I was faster. So it was the normal, geeze it's 8 and go, go, go. I don't like this anymore, and I wish I could change, but I am stuck. I know I never take kindly to change, but that is when the change is imposed on me. This isn't, this is just me wanting to at least look human. And just when I made it on time, I see another human being not looking human, a female police officer deciding to lay down the rules of the infamous No Entry sign. I still made it on time, but not feeling very human. And although I like the little people very much, I wish they'd leave me alone till 9, when perhaps my talking side has begun resembling some human form. A bright good morning when I feel like saying a likewise bright good night because I don't feel too well. I am getting so tired sometimes. I know what causes a part of it, and I just have to make do, because of course I know that the world will not wait. Although I am glad it's not psychological this time round. I am also carrying around too much stuff. That's the down side of being a nomad, you never even have a chair to yourself. I am still happy, tired but happy, I just wish I could be not tired but happy. That's all. It is funny though, the way my brain still works perfectly, and it probably is responsible for sending out perfect messages to my hands, feet and whatever to be able to work. Because when I work, I don't just make do. That's shit. I always think, what if it were my little one, what would I like my own to learn? That is a rhetorical one which always works. It make me deliver to the best of my ability. But come 2pm I shut down again which is ok, seeing I only have to drive myself some 10 minutes away or less. I just can't help it, the minute I open my door I will fling my bag in the same way that I used to fling my school satchel, sit down and light up. And make a really strong coffee which at that time works as a sedative. Oh well, at least I try.