Peace, Love and Serenity

Right now I'm not a very nice person to be with. I never am when I am so disgruntled. And I cannot take more of l-Istrina. everybody is so happily giving away their time, their antics, their bluff, all in the good name of charity. Because as they keep saying, one day it could be me who needed help. That's so very true. The fact is I have always donated to the l-Istrina cause and that's not because I'm pious, nor to get a round of applause. Just factual, nothing else. So it could be me needing their services when life throws a ball of concrete right at my head. The thing is life did throw the concrete ball, I did need help, and where were the l-Istrina people? Nowhere in sight. Where were all the associations, groups which benefited from l-Istrina? Nowhere in sight. And I tried so very hard, I went through the phone directory like a maniac, I went to Caritas, I dialled 179, Called all the foundations such as Richmond. Oh God did I try. But apparently my ball of concrete was so unique that there was no help as yet. Trust me for finding a peculiar concrete ball and not a silly normal one. And to this day, there still is no help for those who are hit by the same concrete ball I was hit years ago. So I switch on my TV and see a bunch of clowns promising that if I ever needed help someone would be there, when I know there wouldn't be anybody. Because people are scared of pain, pain is something which doesn't even attract the flies, let alone attract the people. And of course they seem so intent on showing clips of people who once were on the downside of life, people who have been there and came out alive. That's sweet. But that is not the majority. Or it could be the majority, yet I have no place there. Being selfless is always commendable, but what happens when disaster strikes so close to home? Do I call these people? I actually have, but I apparently was so complicated that there was no place for a girl with a dark shadow hanging over her. Am I resentful? A little bit, yes. Because there was nobody around and I had to make it out of that pitch black hole on my own. Thankfully I was half my size back then, so that kind of helped matters. Pain is relative but pain is also just pain whatever kind of. And when you're thrown into that black hole without a warning, the pain is compounded. I could let bygones be bygones. But I know more people will be faced with that concrete ball, no matter how rare it happens. And to them I can only wish peace, love and serenity.