Decisions

I am trying to read my own blog through different eyes. It's difficult, because it's all so personal and it all so very much seems the same. One friend doesn't think so. My partner doesn't think so either. I guess I know what they're thinking. It's as if I have just had psychological surgery. I also pray a lot. All righty, I am not and will never turn into a prayer junkie who hollers during a prayer meeting because they are convinced that they can speak the language of God. Oh no. I actually feel sorry for those poor old souls, I really don't think it's God intervening but rather a sudden schizoid spell from I don't know where. They think it's God, and it doesn't harm anybody, so let them think that. I, on the other hand, am so not convinced. But perhaps everyone has his own way of talking to God, me included, although I am way less conventional. I also put a lot of responsibility on the Guy. I am never ever sure, so I take the very easy road and say, Hey God, You know I cannot decide which shoes to wear, and You made me in Your creation so please give me a helping hand, stop the things which were never meant to happen in Your plan for me, but accelerate the ones that were meant to be. I know, I know I am taking a hell of a short cut but that is what I do.

Clean-cut decisions are not for me. Which pair of earrings will I wear, which coat, which this and which that. Thankfully I am no early bird so I never have time to weigh and outweigh possible options. The first thing that happens to be in my wardrobe will have to do. That's so terribly easy. Unfortunately I am unable to carry it on in other spheres. The saddest part is that I look like a terribly dominant girl, when I'm not at all. Control is never in my vocabulary, perhaps it's a good thing, perhaps it's not. I hear that the first round of laundry is ready. Will be back.