I just need some form of distraction today. Any form will do, so it's down to my nails again. This is one of those days when I am quick to shed a tear in memory of my lovely baby, I keep reliving the last moments. Big big sigh....I just cannot understand this thing called life... and death. Why do loved ones just die on us, and will I be left just too long to see everyone go away? Shit, that's a cruel thought.
Anyway on to my new nails. Black, because I am in mourning, but with a fiery red because the spirit inside is hard to kill. It is probably what has kept my sanity/insanity, through all that life has thrown at my feet. A lot of sadness, but then a lot of happiness too. Perhaps it's the yin-yang of life trying to balance out an extremely happy childhood. If I had to choose I wonder what I'd choose, having it easy early in life makes you automatically think it's going to be one easy ride. But the equation doesn't work out that way. Would I rather have had a tough childhood and an easy adulthood? The thing is that what I would have preferred is useless because we do not get to choose. It's still hard though. So here's to my nails, while I keep thinking of my Figaro. He is now pain free and I'd rather have him on Rainbow Bridge and happy then next to my side and in pain. That's life, it's how it evens all the bumps out with a grand big steam iron.
