Back here, Saturday evening, a boring one, even the weather sucks. Nobody interesting online on msn, of course everyone's out. I could go out too, but I actually do not feel like it either. Day was average, not bad, nothing out of the ordinary. But I am feeling dangerous, it's as if everything irritates me. I'm not very good company at the moment, I hate myself when I'm like this but I cannot help it, everything gets on my nerves. It's like being really short-tempered over anything, even the most trivial. I've settled down with a Shandy and my packet of cigarettes, I don't go far from the latter. I wish I could quit, but I couldn't cope with that at the moment so what the hell. It'll probably cut my life 5 or a bit more years short, but anyway I'd rather go at 75 with dignity than at 80 and totally dependent. I've just had a look at Living TV's schedule for tonight, it doesn't look bad at all, Gray's Anatomy starts in two minutes flat, and loads of CSI, so I'll probably give the telly a go. Off to watch some gory surgeries as well as hospital love lives. I just don't know how anybody could conduct an affair in a hospital, it's all so clinical, I'd never be able to let go in a place like that. It seems some people don't find it at all difficult though. Hoping this bad phase will be over soon.
AnnMarie
AnnMarie
