Ok I'm back again. Felt too disgruntled back then. But still it hurts. My head hurts. Worse of all I would like to beat the shit out of whoever invented full-length mirrors. It has to be a man, like the one who thought high heels are sexy. High heels may look good, but for people who do not need the extra inches like me, who cares? Still I succumb to the high heel inventor. I love shoes, they make or break you. They may actually break your back too, but still make you. I really wonder this love connection about me and shoes, like where did it come about? But then I love, adore jewellery too, clothes, anything which makes you a girl.
My head hurts again, but I cannot tell anybody, so many people think I'm sick in the head or something. And maybe there's something which could need some oiling, but then nobody's perfect. I'm sick of one thing.... of having to have everything perfect when I just want to be left alone. Alone. Now that's so nice. What would also be nice was not having to venture outside, but I have to go to work, although the holidays are due anytime soon. Here I don't have to constantly worry about what people are saying and thinking. I see the shock on their faces when someone hasn't seen me for a long time, they think where has the other sexy twin gone to. I just want to tell them there's another sexy twin, one is enough and leave me alone. Sometimes it feels like maybe I don't even have the right to live or breathe. Because I'm overweight.... yeah over who's weight. I know what it's like being sexy in all the right places, ok I've doubled my wieght in four years, I know it's unhealthy, I am now feeling the strain of carrying all this weight, but please give me a break. It doesn't mean I'm stupid, lazy, unattractive anymore. I don't know but I think I need help on this, but all doctors will take a good look at me and say.... diet. Yes dieting, the only diet that's ever worked for me is a starvation one , then they say it's not good. The ones who really love me say it makes no difference to them.... but then why should they especially state that it makes no difference. Better stop now, it's not getting better.
Love
AnnMarie
My head hurts again, but I cannot tell anybody, so many people think I'm sick in the head or something. And maybe there's something which could need some oiling, but then nobody's perfect. I'm sick of one thing.... of having to have everything perfect when I just want to be left alone. Alone. Now that's so nice. What would also be nice was not having to venture outside, but I have to go to work, although the holidays are due anytime soon. Here I don't have to constantly worry about what people are saying and thinking. I see the shock on their faces when someone hasn't seen me for a long time, they think where has the other sexy twin gone to. I just want to tell them there's another sexy twin, one is enough and leave me alone. Sometimes it feels like maybe I don't even have the right to live or breathe. Because I'm overweight.... yeah over who's weight. I know what it's like being sexy in all the right places, ok I've doubled my wieght in four years, I know it's unhealthy, I am now feeling the strain of carrying all this weight, but please give me a break. It doesn't mean I'm stupid, lazy, unattractive anymore. I don't know but I think I need help on this, but all doctors will take a good look at me and say.... diet. Yes dieting, the only diet that's ever worked for me is a starvation one , then they say it's not good. The ones who really love me say it makes no difference to them.... but then why should they especially state that it makes no difference. Better stop now, it's not getting better.
Love
AnnMarie
