One week and one day...

It's been one week and a day, and no Lady. And it sucks. No, worse than that, it's so sad. I've lost my baby girl and there will be no replacement. Funny how people react to this. Some people who swear they care so much and have my phone ringing for just about anything choose not to say a word. It's as if it hasn't happened. Then again, other people who have been just another face have suddenly come round, sympathised and empathised and gone out of their way. It's so strange. But then maybe it's not strange and I am just a very bad judge of character. Either way, nothing's bringing my girl back, but it's been interesting to find out that my Lady was actually an alpha female!!!! I never knew that, Lady, with her classy walk yet so playful, who didn't realise her own weight could be a painful issue when she decided to clobber me with her big paws.. an alpha? And her companion, the ever so fierce Fluke, even bigger and with a temperament to match Dom Mintoff's... a follower. Crazy, but true. And it makes me smile. Fluke who scares the living daylights even out of very experienced veterinarians had to go by Lady's rules. She was my girl all right, I taught her well, I taught her to be a feminist... yeay yeay that's my girl. One thing though, dogs are beautiful. Fluke might scare and be mad at everybody else, but not at us. He's just our little boy, well a very big and now old little boy at that, but he's just a pup at heart... with us. With Fluke it's a don't mess with me attitude. I pity the vets who have to see him, they too are shit scared, and it makes me laugh. Experienced vets... Fluke pins them to the wall. Not Lady, Lady was always a good patient poor soul. And I am here smiling, not because I don't have a heavy heart, but because I will not let myself remember the end. I choose to remember her life, and sit here and remember some more antics and smile some more. Perhaps it's denial. But then that's the first stage of grief.... I can't blame myself for that.