Lady

It’s been a while since I’ve been here. One reason for that would be my being bone idle I guess, another being so many happy things happening. And yet it’s not a happy reason which brings me here. It’s a very sad one. Lady. My Lady, the little girl I never had which came in the shape of a ball of fur. She didn’t stay that way for much, my girl grew and grew, which is natural in this house, and also natural for her. My very own Alaskan Malamute, although I could have cared less if she was a mongrel. Happy Lady who walked just like a Lady, head held high, with her wriggling butt which was so cute. I’d never had a dog before, so this was my first time… I spoilt her rotten. I loved her sleeping next to me just like a human, I loved covering her up with a blanket just like a human, and oh God I loved the way she would put her paw on my shoulder and sleep as if to say, hey I’m here and I love you. I loved her too. With her priceless facial expression, she chewed on my shoes… and yet I never scolded her. I guess it doesn’t say much for my parenting skills, but as long as she was happy; I was. I’m writing in the past because of course this happened over six years ago. I wish I could now write in the present and give details of what Lady is up to now. But I can’t. I’d give anything for it. But it still wouldn’t change anything. Lady is gone, she’s crossed over to Rainbow Bridge or so I want to think. I don’t care if there is no Rainbow Bridge; I want to believe that there is. I need to think that one day when my time is up, I will find my Lady again and meet her again. She is free from pain now. I’m the one who is in pain, and it’ll be quite some time till acceptance settles in. Six years really isn’t a lot, but that was all the time I had with my little girl. Then she got sick, so sick she was at death’s door overnight. It’s useless beating myself about it. I couldn’t have known, but I tried to make her stay. Still, after a major op, when things started looking up, it was all too much for my poor girl and she grew cold. That was the worst feeling of all, watching my girl, now cold. The same girl who really could be such a lovely pest, full of energy…lifeless. And I prayed to God because I thought God knew I couldn’t take this. Very selfish I know, but then I am a human being and not a dog. Dogs are selfless, well Lady was. I wonder why God never listens to me when I am on the verge of losing someone, I might as well get used to the idea that He just doesn’t. I don’t care if, in His opinion, there are plenty more things to do than to listen to me begging Him to save my Lady. He’s let me down one other time. But I hope he hasn’t let Lady down and that she is now roaming the best gardens and meadows of Heaven. Till we meet again sweetheart, you will forever be etched in my heart.