The good genes

Somehow I will always be awesomely amazed at the beauty industry. I love them all, the nails, the face, the fake spray tan. I just don't like the waxing part of it, but hey nothing ever comes easy. And there is a very short line between pain and pleasure, so be it. But this war paint makes me so excited, I am back to 11 years old when my experiment with it was just beginning. It was not easy to master the art, my mum never owned any make up, other girls used to rummage in the mother's bags, me.... I had none, not even an older sister's case, or perhaps a cousin's. But that didn't stop me. And I still am in disbelief how my mum, so puritan, thought make up was not for her but that didn't stop her buying her daughter makeup! Thanks mum. It made me feel so special, all my other classmates were not allowed to wear any, and I was dabbling in it like a pro.

Nowadays, I realise time is catching up on me. I wear foundation, I have pretty state of the art nails, there is no denying it, I love the drama. Pile on the black, the reds, the purples (well it is in fashion now), add the jewellery and I am one happy girl.... or woman. A child today referred to me as a woman!!!!!!!!! That made me feel old, but really in a five year old's eyes I must look a woman and not a girl. There was a time when I looked at 30 year olds and they sounded old...... big sigh. But nature is giving me a good helping hand, I still do not look my age, there isn't one hair which has turned grey, no wrinkles, I have a very stable and supple canvas to work with. Cheers Dad for the genes. My twin has not been let off so lucky... his hair is turning peppery (tee hee), which he says is sexy when he's only trying to convince himself. He's had enough luck, at least I get the aging process luck which is just fine!

Still I feel just like some nomad, going through so many processes, never the ones which other people go through. I'm not sure I'll ever find the correct way, if there is one for that matter. But I know I have made a difference and that helps bigtime.

Chinese proverbs

This jibber jabber, so much talk, so much speculation... oh dear, it must be depleting a lot of energies... but not mine. And no I am not paranoid, not when I have written and spoken truth. Oh dear how feeble is man, maybe men love war? And women are homemakers? Well I might not be much of a homemaker, and I don't love war. But the Chinese proverb says....If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles.

What do I have on my hands? The result of patience, waiting, looking at something every single day, making sure the something is in total order for the day it is to be re opened. And it has reopened, good, for I am not the rash 30 year old any longer.

As another Chinese proverb goes..... if your opponent is of choleric temper, seek to irritate him. Pretend to be weak that he may grow arrogant. Feign disorder...... and crush him. It's warfare and all is fair.

The Heart

Nigel's been.... and I am transformed. I don't know what that guy has, good think he's my brother in law too. I have grown to love Nigel, I thought it wouldn't be possible. But I have. Guess the heart is a very expandable organ, it has place for more and more. Well sometimes people leave the place so they make space for more. But it is really beautiful to love, no matter what kind of. Love makes you feel dreamy in the same way the feather drops at the beginning of Forrest Gump. Life a box of chocolates?? Well I'm not too sure about that and right now I have to be careful, I need to think about myself and the very near future. Which looks bliss. Today I remembered something not very nice though, but there is no hate. Only pity. So what if I haunt people, if I am taking their time to think about me... I am not losing sleep.. I will never understand why there are black clouds sometimes, but now it's a rainbow coloured cloud I'm on!

And again she was right, sometimes things just have to give, and there is a right time for everyone.

As Good As It Gets

I am happy. I am content. Things change, the world changes, and it's changing for me too. Maybe it's moving too fast, but I am ok, life still has worth. What a change, not even ARANI ISSA could cope (hint hint brother darling), I'm dreamy, I'm on THE cloud. I chose life and I'm so glad I did. The demons are fading, I have come to close a chapter of my life and open a new one. I am writing this certain that the evil people (not the good ones) who spy on my blog trying to get some information about me now cannot touch me anymore, it's Karma time. What can I say, that I feel 100% happy and excited at the same time? I do. Because as an ex-friend of mine once said... there really is a time for everyone. She's right.