What a Feeling!!!!!!!!!!!

I am smiling.. hard. Why. Because I have things to smile about. I feel light-headed, it's such a good thing to smile. BIG smile. When life around you suddenly seems good and the prognosis is changing... oh yeah, when you just want to sing and dance till you feel your backside is about to split (oh well I am 34..!) Nice feeling, very nice feeling, like when love hits you.
It's like Flashdance...
What a feeling.
Bein's believin'.
I can have it all, now I'm dancing for my life.
Take your passion
And make it happen.
Pictures come alive, now I'm dancing through my life.
What a feeling..... oh yeah!

And about time too!

Till we meet again Nanna

Today I cried... because it's over, when I guess I have to smile because it happened. I have no more grandparents now, and my mother is officially an orphan. I don't deal very well with death, not even when it's the circle of life come into force. I have so many happy memories, but it makes it all the more poignant. So finally now life's dynamics have changed, and I'm not very happy about that at all.
Till we meet again my dear nanna
Rest in peace, love and serenity.

Oh Yeah!

I have read this on the world wide web....
IQ can effect energy consumption. After learning a task, lower IQ
people have to exert more energy to complete a task than high IQ
people who have learned the same task.

Aha! Perhaps this is why I have so much trouble getting thin!
Then I must be a genius! Nice one.

Valentine's Day 2008

This is my 35th. Valentine's Day. Not that I remember the first nine or ten or so, but it is still the 35th. This day celebrating this thing called love which makes you do so many strange things, which has been the subject of so many poems, songs, letters. Which some say is big business, but which I say it might be big business but I don't care. I love Valentine's Day, the roses, the presents, the card fill with sweet nothings. Nothing makes you feel as cosy. And I don't just mean love in the man/woman stakes. Love comes in all shapes and form, it's still love. It's that creepy feeling in your heart when you're so sure it's full, then bang comes someone or something else and you have space for more. I might be soppy about things like love, but hey I was raised in the 80's where we had big big hair, when we went berserk on pink make-up, when I wore stilettos all day long (I look back and cannot understand how stilettos were such an everyday thing then), when we went to discos behind out mothers' backs and listened to love songs all the time. I loved the 80's although I was not a very happy kid back then. But I sure loved the shoes and the false nails which were so badly manufactured they would turn white if filed, we'd apply them with super glue and there was no knowing when they'd come off. So maybe you'd turn up for a Valentine's Day dinner and end up with a fingernail or two in the soup! The nail industry has moved like a giant.
And I've moved on too. From the cuddly teddies and cards I got in my early teens, now I get diamonds. There really is no other way to celebrate Valentine's Day sans the diamonds. I got two beautiful beautiful rings... not one, but two. That's a very good Valentine for a 'girl' who's pushing her youth, who is starting to worry about crow's feet and jowl suppleness, and who'll turn 35 very soon!

I'm excited

I'm so excited, and I just can't hide it.... Good Lord it seems I am doing what the MLP has done with the electoral campaign song, and that's back to the eighties. But I am really excited. About what, I don't know. Election fever... not really. This time I am not decided who to go for, which is a lot coming from die-hard old me. I never thought I'd say that, least of all write it down. But grieviances are grieviances. And forgive and forget is hard to do. And what about the future then. Will I be so mad at myself that I will have contributed to my downfall. It's hard not to be cynical right now......

Life and dynamics

The dynamics of life are changing, babies do that. But it's not just births which change the dynamics, death does that too. The people that looked so old and mature when I was maybe 18 are suddenly dying. My last living grandma is 83, she is not sick in any way, she is probably fitter than me but she has just given up. She does not say so but it looks like life has tired her out. Well at 83 maybe that's not something out of this world. Lots of people have lived much less than that. But I remember her so vividly, so strong physically, emotionally, and mostly mentally. She is a grandma that has survived time and time again against all odds. I know a grandma who fought her way above depression. Anybody who had to go through what she did would probably descend deeply in depression. Not she. My role model in life has not been my mum, my grandma surpassed everyone, I like the fact that she is also my godmother. I made her a grandma, she was only 47 so I recollect a very up and about grandma.

But now just two days ago a dear old man has died, he was my dad's age, a perfect gentleman, I really liked the man, a good man, healthy and all that and the next thing he's gone. And I think of his daughter (my age) and his son, a little younger and think what it's like to be orphaned. Because there never is a specific age to be an orphan.

It's so sad, but then we're passing on to another life. Which makes me confused, should I love a lot and then get hurt when the object of love does their adiuex or should I keep my distance?