Mater Dei

So finally the flu has caught me too, with a vengeance. I haven't felt so ill in a long time. And I keep thinking of Mater Dei which I have never visited, and of how I do not want to be a guest at. Cocky name Mater Dei, I don't care if each ward has it's own TV, or if patients can connect to the Internet, I do not care if it is like a five star hotel, I hate hotels anyway. I do not like living in 5 star service when I am away from my living room, my bedroom, my bathroom and my cats. And of course my dogs. I like home. But every time the common cold comes to visit me I am scared. My lungs are not exactly in good shape right now and that could mean bronchitis which will secure me a place at Mater Dei. But I'm not going, I'm staying right here stocking up on antibiotics as if they were bread and butter. My head hurts, my bones hurt (I guess they're there embedded somewhere), everything is just dreamy..... f***ing fever. I'm thinking though, after everyone was so sick and I still survived, the flu comes when I lower my resistance. Flu or common cold, if it's that common then why has nobody found a cure yet? My only fault, having missed the flu jab this year. Will not do it again I promise. Anyway better call it a night and go into my bed, which might be less of a state of the art bed then the ones at Mater Dei, but it's good enough for me.

In Peace, love and serenity

"The world would be unendurable if you were wide awake." "Pain is the opposite of joy, but joy is a kind of pain." T.S.Eliot. How vividly I remember those two quotes off my knowledge of English literature. I have always been fascinated with 'unendurable' and with opposites which are synonyms. And there I find it, by T.S.Eliot. Literature is so much like life, in that there are volumes of it. Life also has volumes, sometimes starkly chaptered by life's events. I am writing presently in the second volume, second or third chapter of my life... or so I think. The first day of the rest of my life never ever came easy. It still isn't today. I've had one too many of those perhaps. But when hope settles in, then the past makes it's exit. It never really goes away until you find hope. If you only know what it is like not to hope, then once found, there is no way on earth I am giving it away. Not any day, and not today.

Glue

I have had a day trying to fight the stickiness of glue. Geeze how quickly it bonds. And I thought, maybe all things can be rescued and glues back together, you just have to find the right glue. The glue of life, it doesn't come in stick form, or in liquid form. Difficult to find but when you do then it sticks faster than super glue. So that's the answer, if you're broken you need glue. My guess is it is normal remembering the pieces, there is a time for that, but there is also a time to glue the picture, to glue the person. So many things get broken along the course of life.... I need the glue. Glue doesn't make things as perfect as they were before they got broken, you can maybe see cracks if you peer closely, but at least it gives you a facade of near perfection... almost.

More blogging

I realise that this year Easter's coming early. That's good, it means this term is short. Apart from that I don't like Easter, I don't like celebrating the misery and cold hearted actions this man Jesus was dealt. Now I am not very religious, but I think I like Jesus, a beautiful man, kind, and always helping others, a man you could take to your mother to meet, yet a man with so much passion and love. That just about describes my ideal man. And that is a man and a God all in one. So maybe my expectations are not quite normal... it takes a deity it seems. And then everywhere I look I see pictures and carved statues (some lacking talent) of blooded images of this beautiful man. What a shame. One big shame, a feast of celebrating how man can be so cruel over man. Terrible.

Anyway there is time left for that. Right now the weather sucks, I've just had my hair done, my nails done, so I feel better. And now it's raining so I cannot risk my blowdry going berserk.

What prompted me to come back to my faithful blog. Someone has upset my balance in the transgression of boundaries, I will not delve whether it was purposely done or not. That is their business. But it is hurtful and I want to scream I am what I am because the made me what I am. It is useless comparing me to this and that, because there is always a parental change. I wonder how some people feel so perfect, perfect enough to hit on their imperfect creation. But then again I look to my roots, I never had a say.... not my fault. Being in poor health requires tlc and not because I told you so's. Oh but why do I bother everytime....

Euro this and that

Had I had something or someone to name I'd name him Euro. Seriously, even if it were a human being. And now I wish I had asked Santa for a spring cleaning robot. Wonder how Crosscraft and the likes of them haven't had the idea. They would sell, at least I would buy, buy, buy plenty of them robots. And I wonder how many Euro they would cost too. What a flipping chaos in the shops right now, it is taking an extra half hour to get to the cashier, because they are counting centimes as if they were millions. What's a centime less going to do to anyone? Yet people are going around with their bloody euro converters and they keep counting and looking at the shiny coins in their grubby fingers..... yuk! I would really wish to wipe these converters off the face off the earth. They are making shopping a nightmare. I just cannot take people converting deodorants and pasta and baked beans and canned tuna. I hate supermarkets enough as it is, if this is going to go on then I'm going to go hungry. Which is not such a bad idea after all the merrymaking. Because merrymaking is nothing without the food and every year I promise to cut back, I do, but then I cannot resist Baci. Baci everything. And Cadbury. The two of them have never ever made something I hate. They've been so good an never added garlic or onions into their products... and still they're good. Then you get people saying food isn't as good without the dreaded vegetables. As if.

Anyway, the Euro's staying without the garlic and the onions. And it's good for the economy.